Sunday, October 28, 2012

We Walk By Faith...

It's a difficult thing, to believe what we can't see. You want to convince me that something is real? I'll ask you to show me proof. Today, I attended a new church for the first time, and today, I saw proof of three things that cannot be materialized: God, love and real faith.

Through this blog and my dear friend Kelli, the whole congregation knew who I was. Word had been spread by caring hearts and we were immediately welcomed. Multiple people approached me and asked "Are you Leila's mommy?", followed by great big hugs and thanks for sharing our journey. I knew Leila's story had touched lives, but what I didn't realize was the abounding love that people who have never even met us have for her. One person in particular was more excited to see me than anyone; Pastor Brian, a man with an infectious smile, a wonderful sense of humor, no shoes and true faith in Christ.

The subject of his sermon today was Walking with God. The message being spoken was about how God is not looking for you to sacrifice for him, to be a selfless servant. All God wants is a relationship with you. For you to have faith in Him and trust your life to Him. Through the horrible realities of our situation, it has been a goal of mine to allow my faith to evolve. In the past, I have felt silly speaking out loud to something that is not there, even in private. Prayer didn't make much sense to me. During reflection time, Brian asked if we could pray together. We sat while the choir sang and with one hand on my belly and the other holding mine tight, he spoke loudly to God. He asked Him to hold Leila in his arms, to prove the doctors wrong and be well, to walk with me as I carry her and bring us peace. Tears poured from everyone around us and I truly felt the presence of Lord through him. To witness his raw belief in the power of prayer was pretty amazing, and I felt very lucky to be the subject of his requests. To me, this was proof enough that although I cannot seem Him, God is there for me and His love is delivered through those around us that believe.

Today, I pray for the families that are walking this same road now, those who have walked it in the past, and those who will sadly be faced with walking it in the future. I pray for those who are keeping us in their hearts and thoughts. I pray for myself, that my relationship with Christ continues to develop and to let Him act through me. Most of all, I pray for my little girl. I pray that she may keep teaching me these daily lessons and continue to show me the realities of faith and unconditional love.


  1. This is so touching Emilee. I always love reading your posts, but this one brought tears to my eyes. Its so easy that in a rough patch to turn from God and blame him for the sorrow and pain. But to see you embracing HIM and letting him walk you down the dark hallway is touching. I love that you are so willing to be the best person you can be and open to whatever God has in store, It shows you a perfect example of "GODS PLAN". Yes, it may hurt but his plan is alreaady abundantly clear. So much Love. Praying for you. And thank you for your writing. I look foward to each one you do!

  2. I happened to stumble on your blog through a friend's facebook page. It is so beautifully written and your journey has brought tears to my eyes all morning long. I also was raised Catholic and have been searching for something more. I have a child with special needs and my faith is tested on a daily basis. Thank you for sharing your story - it is what I needed this morning. I hope that you have all that you need this morning. I am praying for you and your sweet family.